Domestic Violence
On this page:
What is domestic
violence? How can I recognise domestic
violence? Who is responsible for the
violence?
Is domestic violence a
crime? Where can I go for
help? Organisations in
Worcestershire
Contact information
What is domestic
violence?
The Government defines domestic violence as "Any incident of
threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical,
sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been
intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or
sexuality." This can include forced marriage and so called 'honour
killings'.
Domestic violence may, and often does, include a range of
abusive behaviours, not all of which are, in themselves, inherently
'violent'.
Whilst both men and women may be victims of domestic violence,
women are considerably more likely to experience repeated and
severe forms of violence, including sexual violence. It is also
very common, affecting one in four women in their lifetimes.
Domestic violence can also take place in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual
and transgender relationships, and can involve other family
members, including children.
How can I
recognise domestic violence?
Although every situation is unique, there are common factors
that link the experience of an abusive relationship. This list can
help you to recognise if you, or someone you know, is in an abusive
relationship.
Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: eg.
shouting, mocking, accusing, name calling, verbally
threatening.
Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to
withhold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit
suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies
unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the
children, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you
that you have no choice in any decisions.
Disrespect: persistently putting you down in
front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk,
interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse
without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework.
Breaking trust: lying to you, withholding
information from you, being jealous, having other relationships,
breaking promises and shared agreements.
Isolation: monitoring or blocking your
telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go,
preventing you from seeing friends and relatives.
Harassment: following you, checking up on you,
opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned
you, embarrassing you in public.
Threats: making angry gestures, using physical
size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions,
breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun,
threatening to kill or harm you or the children.
Sexual violence: using force, threats or
intimidation to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you
when you don't want to have sex, any degrading treatment based on
your sexual orientation.
Physical violence: punching, slapping, hitting,
biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, burning,
strangling.
Denial: saying the abuse doesn't happen, saying
you caused the abusive behaviour, being publicly gentle and
patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying it will never
happen again.
Since abusers typically display different kinds of behaviours in
public than they do in their private relationships, most people are
not usually aware of domestic violence when it is happening in
their community. Sometimes it is difficult to believe that a person
who behaves so respectably in public can behave so appallingly with
their family. This can sometimes make it even more difficult for
women who are trying to reach out for support, as they may feel
that they will not be believed when they speak out about the
violence.
Who
is responsible for the violence?
The abuser is. Always. There is no excuse for domestic violence.
The abuser has a choice to use violence for which he is responsible
and for which he should be held accountable. They do not have to
use violence. They can choose, instead, to behave non-violently and
foster a relationship built on trust, honesty, fairness and
respect.
The victim is never responsible for the abuser's behaviour.
Blaming the victim is something that abusers will often do to make
excuses for their behaviour. This is part of the pattern and is in
itself abusive. Sometimes abusers manage to convince their victims
that they are to blame for the abuser's behaviour. Blaming their
behaviour on someone else, the relationship, their childhood, their
ill health, or their alcohol or drug addiction is an abuser's way
of avoiding personal responsibility for their behaviour.
Similarly, children will often feel responsible for the violence
and it is important to let them know that the violence is not their
fault.
Is domestic
violence a crime?
There is no single criminal offence of 'domestic violence'.
Instead there are several categories of crime that may also be
defined as domestic violence. These include: assault, threat to
kill, wounding, attempting to choke, harassment, putting people in
fear of violence, rape, sexual assault and exposure.
Not all forms of domestic violence are illegal eg. some forms of
emotional violence. However, whether or not a crime has been
committed, the Police can help by offering advice and information,
and referral to support agencies if required.
Where can I go
for help?
In an emergency call the Police on 999
To report a crime or incident of domestic violence call the
Police switchboard on 0300 333 3000
For free, confidential support or refuge if necessary, you can
call West Mercia Women's Aid 24 hour helpline on 0800 980 3331
(calls are free)
Organisations
in Worcestershire
West Mercia Women's Aid (WMWA) is the lead agency in
Worcestershire working with women and children affected by domestic
violence. They can usually access an interpreter if you need
one.
Their services include:
24-hour helpline - free, confidential support, advice and access
to safe accommodation. The number is 0800 908 3331.
Refuge - women and their children (if any) can be admitted into
the refuge in Worcester city at any time of day or night, 365 days
a year. The ground floor of the refuge is fully accessible to
wheelchair users and women/children with restricted mobility. The
facilities include a ground floor bedroom and adapted bathroom.
Alternative safe accommodation is always found at another refuge
in the national network if the Worcester refuge is full or if the
woman needs to leave the area for her own safety. Any woman asking
for refuge will be found safe accommodation.
Information, support and advocacy is offered to all women and
children and, with consent and within the bounds of
confidentiality, the organisation liaises closely with agencies
such as Housing, Social Services, Police, solicitors etc., to
enable families to benefit from the expertise and co-operation of
all relevant agencies.
Children - the refuge has play facilities and dedicated Child
Support staff who will help mothers/carers to meet the needs of
their children.
Outreach and Floating Support - appointments can be made by or
for women who need face-to-face support, either for a short period,
or longer term for up to two years, in order to minimise the
effects of domestic abuse and successfully establish independent
living.
Social Inclusion - group courses and activities for women
recovering from domestic violence aiming to build up confidence and
self-esteem, and to have fun.
Opportunities for volunteers - women interested in training to
do voluntary work with WMWA can phone on the office number during
office hours for an informal chat.
WMWA delivers a range of domestic violence awareness and good
practice training programmes primarily in Worcestershire but also
nationally and internationally. They also play a major role in
national domestic violence initiatives through its membership of
the Women's Aid Federation of England.
Contact
information
West Mercia Women's Aid
24-hour helpline: 0800 908 3331
Link to: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Men's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence Forum
(Broken Rainbow): 0208 539 9507
